That's me today. When my alarm went off I was not ready to get up. I was ready to roll back over and sleep another couple of hours. I wasn't feeling well. I had a very yucky, no-motivation-at-all kind of feeling going on. I wanted to go back to sleep because I was tired. But I also wanted to go back to sleep because I just had nothing at all inside. Nothing. No desire at all to face life today. So I turned off the alarm and rolled over and felt completely miserable.
I couldn't go back to sleep. I just kept thinking about how I could go back to sleep and not face the consequences all day long. I mean, I knew that if I didn't get up and get to work that I'd have to live with that choice all day, and it really wouldn't help that yucky feeling I had inside. It wouldn't go away, and I couldn't sleep.
So I got up. About 15 minutes late. I had to cut out my 30 minute cardio workout because of it, but I did get the 40 minute step aerobics done. I also tried out my new Jillian Michaels 40 minute toning DVD. "No More Trouble Zones" or something like that. I watched it yesterday so I could get a feel for it, and it looked killer. So I did that one this morning instead of the Gilad toning. I am really in favor of finding variety. I know that my body is just so used to all the moves from all the DVDs I've done so many times before, and I'd love to challenge it more.
The workouts were good, and bad. The step was amazing because I felt like it was easier than it's ever been--I was light on my feet, all the parts that are usually more challenging were less challenging today. It rocked. But my back started bugging me again. It hurts. I hate it. I pushed through it. Jillian's workout was also awesome, because I was able to do a lot more of it than I thought I would. The frustrating thing is that the parts that were the hardest for me were hard because my back just plain hurt. I really wish that I could have eliminated that complication so I could know just how capable I am. Some of that ab work is pretty intense, and I want to know what I really can do, not all the things I can't do because it hurts my back. Kind of frustrates me! I don't really know how to tell how the workout I got today compares to what I usually get. I am going to stick with Jillian for a few days and get my ground, then I'll start alternating between hers and Gilad's.
I also got three other DVDs in the mail yesterday: Legs of Steel, Arms of Steel, Buns of Steel. They have bonus workouts for abs, so that will be awesome. I still have to watch legs and buns, but I watched arms yesterday and it looks like it'll be good, so I'll try some of that for today's extra arm workouts. My legs need a lot of help too, so I'll have to figure out when to do that one. Wow, I'm just a whole pile of trouble zones!
It looks like I just have steady, steady gains going on. I'm getting really tired of it. This morning I weighed 183.2 That is a 6.4 pound gain since ending the juice. I do not like that, Sam I am. I do not like such a high gain. I am ready to see it start going back down. What I really need to do is crack down. I no longer have pistachios in my house. I wish I could say it's because I saw the danger and got rid of them, but no. It's because I just finished them off so they'd be gone. Stupid excuses. I love pistachios! I will definitely not buy any more. Not buying them is very easy. Sticking to a controlled portion, not so much. So no more.
I know the weight gain would be easier to take if I knew without a doubt that I were doing my 100% best. Because then what happens is really out of my hands. That's how it was on HCG. I just did what I had to do, and I did it perfectly. And the scale did whatever it did, I had nothing to feel guilty about. So I know that the blah, yucky feeling I am battling today has less to do with the number on the scale, and more to do with the fact that I can't say I've been giving 100%.
I am glad, though, that I got up and worked out for 80 minutes! That's no small thing, even if it was done grudgingly. This is hard. And I don't like it. But! It is definitely not over.
I love pistachios.. I used to eat the normal salted peanuts but realized that several hand fulls of peanuts were several hundred calories and all gone in a couple of minutes. I love getting my 49 pistachios and sit slowly eating them over 20 minutes out of the shell :) Luckily, I need to eat them. My diet is devoid of good fats and pistachios are excellent source of good fat.
ReplyDeleteWe do have bad days. I had one myself on Sunday.. but you have done really well so far.
I totally feel you. I did not want to get up and go to spinning class but then when the hubby joined me I was really glad to be there and even happier at the end of the class. I was in the blah phase most of last week. I just couldn't stop putting things in my mouth. This week I am focusing on putting less in my mouth and when I do making sure it is something that won't ruin my whole day. I also understand the disappointment of knowing that I did not give it my 100%. This week is more about giving my 100% especially when it comes to food. Time I acquaint myself with self control and say good bye to impulse eating. I'm pulling for ya.
ReplyDeleteI am actually looking at a detox program that I want to try after the new year. Nothing like flushing all the holiday junk. It is only 5 days so I am a little skeptical. I saw it in woman's magazine and have been doing some research on it to see how valid it is. It looks like something that will fit my life style and budget.