One Of Those Hard Times

Just made a juice for the 3rd time. The first time I made it it was AWFUL. I figured that was because I added a green onion it didn't call for and it didn't mesh well with the ingredients. The second time I made it it was simply because I forgot that I hated it so bad the first time. And I added the green onion again the second time! I decided to try it one last time and make it according to the recipe and scrap the onion. It's definitely better without the onion.

But it is still so stinkin' nasty.

And I'm drinking it down anyway, because regardless of how it tastes, the juice is still good for me. And I can't waste it, I spent too much money on it. =(

Add to that the fact that I just made mini-meatloaves for my kids for dinner. Even just chopping the onion made my mouth water. Then mixing all the ingredients together and working with it--it just smelled so amazing.

I miss food. 

Last night we had a nice program at church for the Young Women. Afterward, when everyone was eating the dessert (brownie bites, chocolate chip cookie bars, and chocolate caramel somethings), I didn't care at all to have any. I knew I wouldn't want to eat them, but I was also glad that it didn't bother me at all. My son (who had been there for scouts) asked me to hold his plate for a minute. So (you know me) I smelled his brownie. And nothing. It actually kind of turned me off. It could have been because it was store bought--I'm much more a lover of homemade stuff. But still, one would think that not having sugar for almost 3 months (almost perfectly) that any kind of treat would be tempting.

I am super happy that being around the sweets isn't a problem for me at all right now. What it's harder to be around are the things that I know I'll be able to eat after the juice fast. Peanut butter. Salad. Bananas. Homemade whole wheat honey bread. It's even starting to get a little bit hard to not just eat a bite of fresh fruit or vegetable because I can only have the juice.

It isn't this hard all the time. Luckily. I know that doing this fast is curing me of a lot of things I could have been diagnosed with later that now I won't. I know how amazing this thing is for my health.

But tonight it's hard. This juice tastes nasty, and the aroma of the meatloaf is filling the house.

On the other hand, it's kind of nice to have something good to smell while I drink the juice. I do find some kind of satisfaction in that.

I do wonder if I'll make it to 30 days. I mean, who wants to say "I did an 18 day juice fast." 18 doesn't mean anything, it's no round number at all. It's not 5, or 10, or 2 weeks, or whatever. I'd love to be able to say I did a 30 day juice fast.