It's Not Over 'Til the Fat Lady Sings

Last night was a pretty hard night for me, as I posted earlier. I've been having some bad luck getting not so good juices, even though I'm not making any of the ones I have crossed off my list. A couple of days in a row there, they made me feel sick afterward. You would think that after 18 days that wouldn't happen, but it did. Luckily it doesn't last for too long, but it isn't fun.

I think that I am really getting tired of the same old juice. I have quite an arsenal of recipes, so I don't repeat all that often. But they are similar enough that  it's just getting old. Last night as I was cleaning up, I could smell the pulp and it really just was not a pleasant smell to me. Not because it's any different than it ever is, just because I'm sick and tired of smelling it. I guess. That's all I can think.

That started me thinking that I need to be smart about how long I do this. Because I do want to do juice fasts periodically throughout the rest of my life, I don't want to overdo it right now to the point that I just can't stand the thought of making another glass of juice. Which is what point I got to last night. And I just didn't have any desire at all to go in there and make juice, which resulted in me, once again, drinking far less juice for the day than I feel I should. I know I should have had more. But just the thought of it made me want to leave the kitchen and chew some of that sugar free apple pie gum that Extra makes. =J So I did.

This morning I got up and did Cathe Friedrich's Low Max workout, which is a 70 minute step aerobics/body sculpting interval thing. After that I did Gilad's 35 minute toning workout. That's the good news. The bad news is that almost from the very beginning of the step workout, I did not feel good. I don't know how to describe it. Fuzzy? (could have been because it was so early, LOL). Weak? Just plain out of it? Whatever it was, I definitely didn't give Cathe 100% today. Maybe about 90%. I don't like to just go through the motions of a workout, because I know that if your heart is in it and you're giving it your all, you get much more out of it. It's also a lot more fun. I have fun doing that workout. It's a major killer, but I like it. Today I didn't like it.

There's part of me that says "Duh, it's because all you consume is vegetable/fruit juice--you just can't exercise when you're doing that." There's another part of me that says "Joe Cross and Phil whatever his name is exercised during their 60 day juice fast, and they were fine. So leave me alone, I want to exercise." But I think the most practical side of me is saying, "Maybe it's just time you were done with the juice for now. Earlier in the week you were totally on your game with the workouts, and didn't feel weak or any of that. But now you do. This is your body telling you that it's just plain time to stop the fast."

So. My problem is that even after all that, I am still undecided! Can you believe that?

Why? The shameful truth is that I don't want to go back to the "slow and steady" weight loss. I know that I need to, that rapid weight loss is not something that should be done long term anyway. For the juice fast, it has definitely been my favorite "side effect." And I admit that it is hard to let go of. The closer I get to certain milestones, and to my final goal, the harder it is to be patient for the pounds to come off.

And I do know that that's just the way it is, and that I have to just be okay with it because I can't keep juicing forever, and I need to be healthy, and I need to relax and just try to lose 2 pounds a week and not feel like it's a bad thing. Because it's not. I always knew that I didn't want to have rapid weight loss all the way down, and I know that your body has to have time to tone along with losing the pounds, or you end up with lots of saggy baggy skin. Which may be the point my arms have reached. Grrr!

So I know in my mind that getting on that road of slow and steady weight loss is what I truly need. And it's what I truly want. I just need my mind to inform my heart.

At any rate, I think that for now I will finish out the juicing through tomorrow, maybe Sunday. But for sure by Monday morning I'll be on solid foods (ha! I sound like a baby! hee hee) again and putting this whole primarily plant based thing to the test.

I know that I will gain a couple of pounds back as my body adjusts to all the changes. Hopefully I'll be able to lose it again fairly quickly and then really keep it under control. I'm good with extremely strict, not so much with the less strict. I do feel that I have come to the point where I can tackle that a lot better than I have during the past year, and I like the guidelines I have set for myself. So here's hoping.

Meanwhile, I will try and make all of my juices for the next two or three days so I'm not left with a lot of leftover vegetables that could very well just go to waste. Unless something changes between now and then, it's my plan to finish up soon.

(And I will drink plenty of juice to make sure that I can be on top of my game for tomorrow's workout).

176.8 today!

**Added about a half hour later:

I take it back. I've been sitting here reading weight loss blogs and trying to get myself into the kitchen to go make some juice, and I just can't stomach the thought of it.

So, my friends, it's done. I'm going to go have a banana for breakfast. I will have some kind of steamed vegetables for lunch, and my big ol' salad for dinner. Maybe strawberries for dessert if I feel like it. Tomorrow I will have oatmeal with a banana for breakfast. I may have some nuts at lunch, with some vegetables again. Salad for dinner again. This time I'll put in some black beans. I think I'm going to be in heaven!

I hate that I'm just quitting, but I do feel that it is the best thing for me, and I really just can't feel like a quitter after having done an 18 day juice fast, right? I feel pretty dang good.

As for the vegetables? I'll try to keep eating them and waste as few as possible.