Sick. of. it.

So tired of doing HCG. I just can't eat the diet anymore.

Last night I bought a points plus calculator on ebay. Then this morning I found a website that has a free calculator on it. There's also an activity points calculator.

I was really going to try and stick with the HCG for a whole 8 weeks. But enough is enough. I'm not really losing anymore anyway, although--every day I cheat a little with a bite of this or that. I think I've just done it enough that I am really burnt out. I'm grateful for what it's done for me, and I'd be lying if I didn't say I've learned and changed A LOT of things during the HCG journey. But I'm tired of it. I was going to do it again in August, but...as of now, I don't think I will. I'm going to talk to Jared about just doing WW with me and skipping the August round of HCG.

Today I was 189.6. See? It's the cheating. I've gained half a pound every day for a few days. Grrrr!!!!!

Today is the last day I'll take the HCG, but it stays in your system for 3 more days, so technically I should eat the diet through Friday. I think I'll try. Because although I'm sick of it, if I can just do three more days that would be good. I really shouldn't just all out quit. But it's really hard for me not to cheat. What I need is to get it out of my system and just jump right in to weight watchers. And then I'll have a goal to lose 2 pounds a week and there you have it. Nice, normal, real life weight loss.

On a positive note, I got up at 5 today and exercised. It felt so good. See, yesterday my husband and I spent 2 hours doing yard work, and I just felt so awesome after that. It was like being reminded of some fabulous life that has been just out of reach for a while. That after-exercising feeling just made me feel so at home, so like the "real" me. It's been a while.

So this morning I did Jillian Michaels' No More Trouble Zones. 50 minutes (4 activity points). Then I did a step workout with Cathe Friedrich. 50 minutes (4 activity points). In the afternoon I did another hour of weeding outside (4 activity points). So--not too shabby, huh?

I really want to get going on this weight watcher's eating plan. I think I'll be a lot more sane with it. And I'm going to have to decide if I want to officially join now (in June) or wait until August. I don't know. I'm kind of afraid to not have accountability. It's just so easy to cheat, and I have proven over and over again to be very weak in that area. So we'll see. Sometimes I can be really good, and maybe with weight watchers being as structured as it is, but a lot more open to options, I can do it. I don't know though, I think the accountability is key for me.

I have also finally stopped buying cases of water bottles from Costco. We managed to get a Brita filter to fit on the tap of the kitchen sink, and that has made a HUGE difference in the taste of the water. I'm so happy about that! Tastes just like my bottled water. And yesterday I got a 24 oz. water bottle, so now I'm set. Today I drank 5 of my water bottles, for a total of 120 ozs. Not to shabby!

What I really need to do is set a course for myself and just step on the path and never look back.

So...I'll check back on Saturday, if not sooner. Saturday will be my first official day of following the WW plan, and I really look forward to it.