I hate big baggy t-shirts and "soft" pants.
And there's no such thing as a cheat when Sunday morning comes and none of your church clothes fit. OK, the skirts fit, but they are seriously tight. Today, for church, I had to raid my husband's shirts. I wanted to cry. I ended up wearing a tan skirt (too tight) and one of Jared's white dress shirts, with a scarf. I felt like a freak. But none of my shirts would work. I can't fake it anymore.
Another thing that I hate having to say, but it's the truth.
I have talked about extremes. Well, I have decided to juice fast this week. Not so much as a quick weight loss thing, but more as a wipe-the-slate-clean thing, to get rid of the cravings and crap that has seemed to overtake me the past few weeks. I need to get the toxins out (why, oh WHY do I let sugar into my system? Sugar is so terrible!) I need to juice fast so that I can flush the bad stuff out and give myself a new start.
I'm a little nervous, because of the fact that I haven't been able to stick to anything I've tried for the last little while.
But I'm to the point where I just have to.
Here's what I look forward to.
Juice fasting makes me feel AMAZING. I feel completely on top of my game, and I have more energy than ever. I've probably said it before, but the best I have ever felt in my life has been when I've been on HCG, and when I've juice fasted. I need the juice to bring me back to life. Which it will if I let it!
Luckily I have a lot of produce in my fridge right now! Tomorrow morning I will get up and exercise, and then walk to Winco for some more produce (yay for 24 hour grocery stores!), and get my shower before Jared leaves for work at 8.
And then I will have fun with my kids doing something on our summer bucket list.
And so begins project bring-me-back-to-life.
I need to succeed, too, because right now I have zero confidence, and my Sunday clothes are my only motivation.
I still refuse to go shopping. Because if I buy bigger clothes, I'm just masking this huge, ugly problem and it will just get bigger.
Don't give up on me.
You will get through this. I was the same way with clothes shopping. I felt like buying bigger sizes would be me accepting that I'd gained weight.
ReplyDeleteWe all have our downfalls and we are all here to support each other through the good times and especially the bad.
If you need some extra support, you can always send me an email :-)